after so long,almost two years i feel the sadness again.
i cant imagine i lost her just in one night,while im sleeping.i woke up at 4,took my phone and look,2 msg.press and see 2 from her.told me the thing i never expect will happen.that time my mind totally blank and i want to cry but cant really cry out,i seriously feel this time is worse than last time.cause me and her get close damn fast,but get further even faster,now we are just friends.
i dont know how to tell you all how i feel?just that i feel like what i do for her is not enough to make her stay with me,i seriously damn regret being so stupid again.two years ago i made a regret and stupid decision,after 2 years same thing happened to me again.
i seriously cant get girlfriend,maybe my attitude problem and i cant treat the girl as good as others.i dont know what to do now.i feel damn blank,want to find something to pass my time but i cant.cause before this i spend all the time with her,but now i dont know how to spend all my time.i still remember the time i spent with her,was so happy and romantic.the moment i spent with her will always stay in my mind and it will never go off my mind.
even though she reject me cause of her ex but i tell you all i wont just give up like that,no matter how long i will wait for her cause the love towards her is just cant explain in words.
i want her but cant,so i can just hope she will be happy with the ex and treat her better.today i cried for her,dont know why,tears just came out and i keep thinking of her,i think that is the reason why.
today i went ac play pool with jim,once i stepped in ac,i felt something missing,IS HER!!she totally gone from my world.i dont want to do stupid thing,so i can just tell myself study well,so that me and her have another chance in some other time.
thanks all my bros.seriously everytimes when i had all this problem they will always stay beside me,i will never forget how you treat me,in my heart always got my brothers.
rachel:i still love you but cant show it out so i can just keep it inside my heart.
